Fun With Freewriting – Week 13: Watching

I’m a bit late with the latest Fun With Freewriting post, but it’s finally here. And the upshot is that you’ll have two during this week! At least I hope you will …

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it now it’s here.

 

Here is my safe place, where I am the most comfortable and content. After days of dodging gangs, avoiding the fires and being chased by thieves and muggers I can finally rest at last. I’d stay here indefinitely if I could, alone with the quiet and tranquility that only the forest can provide. Nothing but the sun shining from above and the birds songs resonating in my ears. If only it could sustain me with food and water too, my life would then feel complete.

And so the peace would always be broken after a few days, and the lower my food reserves became, the more agitated I felt myself getting at the thought and anticipation of returning to that hole. I was left with little choice if I wished to remain in this small piece of surviving wilderness, the next closest town was just too far to travel back and forth. At least with this one I only had to spend one night in a hovel, cowering for my life, hoping and praying for the daylight once again, and I could carry enough provisions for nearly a whole week, I’d take that balance any day.

But the distance and my safe place are not the sole reasons for me sticking around here. This city may be the dirtiest and most dangerous place that I’ve ever had to depend on for my survival, but it’s also home to one of the most beautiful things in the world.

I can’t really remember the first time I caught sight of Serena, she seems now to be such a constant in my life. Her long, wavy, blue hair and silver skin stood out like a beacon amongst the black rubble and burning buildings. Everything was in chaos around her, yet she seemed logical and methodical as she made her way down the street, helping those that had a chance for survival and easing the transition for those that were on their way to the next world.

She wasn’t daunted by any situation, no matter how hideous or horrendous, simply assessing, tending and leaving comfortable while she made her way to the next. As I watched it felt as though the rest of the world simply faded into nothingness. At the centre of my focus, the rest of the city emanated from her and revolved around her presence.

One day I hoped to have enough courage to meet her, talk to her, learn more about her. But not today, today I could only watch,

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Fun With Freewriting – Week 13: Watching

  1. Can I ask; once you have written pieces like above how soon after do you go back to it to edit it? I really like this line, “rest of the city emanated from her and revolved around her presence.”

    • Thanks for the comment Chris. I must admit, I haven’t managed to get around to continuing any of my pieces yet. It’s definitely something I’m trying to make more time for. There are quite a few that I really like and have ideas of where I could take them though.
      Your comment has given me a bit of a nudge to make the efforts to develop some of them, so thank you!

      • I’m glad my comment has given you a nudge. Without intending to labour a point, “the rest of the city emanated from her and revolved around her presence.” reads like a great first line for a novel or short story. It does what a first line should do; makes the reader ask questions, intriguing and makes a reader want to read on.

  2. Thanks Chris for these words of encouragement. It’s good to know the good parts of a piece, the ones that work, as well as the ones that don’t. I’ve made some notes and I’m keen to pursue this one. I’ll keep you posted.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s