A difficult beginning – A WWBH post

This post is part of the Writer Wednesday Blog Hop, a weekly meme designed to inspire creativity and encourage the sharing of stories.

The hop is co-hosted by myself over at Reading, Writing and Everything in Between, Leanne Sype at Writings and Ruminations, Tena Carr at Jottings and Writings and Debb Stanton at Stanton Sunshine.

The challenge this week is to write a piece of flash fiction in up to 500 words, using two pictures as inspiration.

This weeks pictures:

2014-06-08 13.02.24 2014-06-19 18.23.46

 

This weeks story:

A difficult beginning

You look so tiny as you lie there, surrounded by so many tubes and wires. I’m afraid to put my hands on you in case I pull on something by mistake. You were this perfect little thing the day you arrived, and it breaks my heart that everything wasn’t quite right on the inside. The doctor says its no fault of ours, these things just happen sometimes, but still I feel like I’ve let you down already and you’re not even 48hrs old.

        I could sit here all day with you, watching you, hoping that being here will in some way help you get better. But I ache all over. I’ve still recovering too, my little one, from the efforts of bringing you into this world. We should both be at home right now, snuggled together and helping each other adjust and get strong again. But instead here we are, you in there and me as close as I can be. I know I need to be taking care of myself, to get some rest and recuperate, but that also means leaving you here by yourself.

        I know, of course, that you’re in the best place, getting the best care you can, but it’s not always the same as having the people who love you nearby.  And I have your sister to think of too. She needs me as much as you do, and I didn’t think I’d be splitting myself between the two of you so soon. You probably won’t remember any of this, or how much time I spent with you, but she will. She’ll notice if I’m here too much and if I’m not at home spending time with her too. I must get that right, I can’t have her being upset with either of us already. After all, this isn’t her fault. It isn’t anyone’s fault, it’s just something that happens, and this time it’s to us.

        We know you’re on the mend now, my little one, and big sister has been here and had her cuddles. She loves you more than you’ll ever know, and she’s been hurting as much as we have. She comes and holds your hand every day so you don’t forget her. The bunny in your cot was left for us yesterday, a parcel left on the doorstep, flowers too. Had things gone differently it would have been a harsh reminder of a tragedy impossible to bear, but instead now they are a symbol of hope that we’ll have you home soon.

Get well my little one, we have many adventures to all share together, today and forever xxx

Word count: 439

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12 thoughts on “A difficult beginning – A WWBH post

  1. A beautiful and heart-wrenching message to your wee one, Heather. What tugs at me the most is your time being torn in different directions between both children. As a mother, you love your children equally and do your absolute best to tend to each little heart equally, but sometimes it is impossible. And the guilt is hard to bear. You are doing great, Heather, given the circumstances. Your kidlets will love you and honor you their whole lives–and the balance of time invested with each little heart will even out over the course life.

    Be well, my friend. Take heart that all will be okay. I am sending you a hug as great as the sea between us. You are a fantastic mother, okay? 🙂

    Thanks so much for sharing your heart and story with us.

    • Thank you for your comment Leanne, and for your lovely words of support. Without people like you in my life this whole experience would have been a lot harder to bear.

  2. Oh, you seem to have had a tough time of it lately but I’m so glad things are improving now. A mother’s love is all encompassing to all her offspring even when it is stretched tightly in different directions, sometimes somebody needs a bit more at a particular time than another. It will all even up in the end.

    • I hope so Sally. I knew it would be tricky dividing my time and attention between them, and it’s getting easier to find the balance as we all settle in, but I guess I’ll always worry that I’m favouring one over the other.
      Thanks for commenting 🙂

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  5. You know, wondering–hoping everything turns out well with the birth of a child is one of the most frightening situations of any parent. We went through it four times, and thankfully, none of our children had problems like you described. I’ll never know that special bond between mother and child (we’re not completely equal for a reason…), but you’ve captured the miracle of that bond so well. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!

    • Thank you Scott. I always debate with myself about posting pieces that are so personal, but it’s helped me process the whole experience and cope with it a little better. I don’t like to keep things in, and this medium is great for when I just can’t bring myself to talk out loud about it.

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